The Biography Of First Mate Davis Fincklenickel
by Master Gunner James Folfax (9/4)
Pending approval from First Mate Davis Fincklenickel (which will never happen). Davis was born into slavery in 1751 in Trafalgar, England. He was so ugly that everyone died. Then, in 1782, he changed the world with his new invention: the Jingerwigger. Now, everyone realized the true beauty in how ugly lt is & noone died. In their four centuries of existence,
noone had ever thought to combine a fork & a spoon, not even Void. It was the most disgusting thing that was ever created. It was made by recalibrificating Satalcide & lenerating Zrenrith-C while svingersvopping minorly. Despite his success with the Jingerwigger, his new $3 add-on, the Hafmour (basically, a knife. He couldn't get lt to stay on.) in 1740, was a massive failure, causing riots all over Europe & the death of George Washington. It was made out of ketchup. And so, First Mate Davis Fincklenickel accidentally died by being beaten with a mallet by hippies in 1420 in Saudi Arabia, causing the people to go into despair for accidentally murderring their best inventor today. The endings. A story written by You TM, I guess. Die.
Note: This is widely considered to be the first shitty story. It was written not half an hour before The Only Way & quickly led to the phenomenon. The previous stories are often not considered because they were not typed on a phone notepad, with the exception of the 2013 stories. You may notice that this shitty story is on Trollpasta. I posted lt there without a hitch, but when I posted The Only Way, lt got inexplicably taken down. Their loss.